Following the initial shock of death, for many a gentle calm follows. A way our internal mechanisms disguise the loss of someone we love. The mourning starts shortly after the “watershed” moments when we outpour our full emotions and grief.

For many, the realization of reality dawns on them when a specific moment happens. The drawing of the curtains or the descent of the coffin into the ground can complete this moment in time.
Right now, at this point in time is when you start questioning the world, yourself, what you’re feeling and why is the world changing around you so much. Sleeping becomes difficult, you question your sanity, and those questions…. So many questions. Even food has lost its’ taste.

The words emotional and irrational are most often associated with people during this time of acute grief and pain. You see, we’re all different and we all have many different questions.

When the time is right for you, and your mind, body and soul feels the need, let the river of grief wash over you. There’s no way to stop it, it just happens in different ways for different people – there’s no book on this! Yes – you – you’re different to me – just let it happen.

When you arrive at the funeral to partake in the ceremony, take a private moment in your world, go ahead and touch the coffin, say a gentle word, say a heartfelt goodbye – this, after all, is the time to do this. This is a person you loved, they touched your life, while you are in their presence one last time, let them touch your emotions in the deepest part of you, just one last goodbye and thanks.

The happy memories are not far away, but in the meantime, there is grief. Accept that your life has changed, your world has changed, and the pain of parting is never easy, never has been and never will be. Now is the time for mourning to begin and it must begin.

Say the words you need to say. Cry the tears you need to cry and be thankful that you knew someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.

Bruce Hultgren was suddenly affected by the tragic loss of his Sister in a plane crash in 1999. Since that date, Bruce has dedicated his time to helping the millions of people around the world who meet these emotions on their journey. Dealing with Death, Funerals, Grief and Dying. Now an accomplished writer on the subject, Bruce has started the FuneralMemorials website to help families celebrate, remember and go through this most trying of times together. He has also discovered a gift to write heartfelt verses that can be found in his PocketAngels range.

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