7 Key Points To Explain Why.

If you are like me – you thought these 2 words or terms simply meant the same thing. Ah! Nope! In fact, many authorities on the grief process mention that there is a very important and major difference between them. Let me explain.

Grief: Commonly defined as the process of experiencing psychological, social, physical or behavioral reactions from a loss of some description.

1. A physical loss – wallet, phone, car etc.
2. Psyschosocial loss – death of a loved one, loss of meaning, divorce etc

We grieve them – no matter the cause.

Mourning: A publicly exposed critical expression to the outside world. An external expression completing the journey from within the heart to now being out in the world for all to see. This is a very important piece of knowledge to have if you’re supporting someone who is suffering from a loss or if that person is you trying to cope.

Yes, there are implications – let’s explore them.

1. The timing of your public grief in front of the people whom you chose to grieve is critical to your personal timetable. In order to actively adapt to the loss, this action will provide an emotional release and will help reduce the feelings of isolation that you may be experiencing. Although not fully taken advantage of by most people, this is a long known and practiced form of sharing grief.

2. Do what YOU need to do to find relief from the built up anxiety and tension which is a normal response to the anxiety of grief. Be it, walking, drawing, playing, writing – or simply not missing an opportunity to cry. Remember – it is completely normal to want to break the stranglehold of grief away from you for a period of time.

3. You were so lucky to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to and the grief you’re feeling is the ransom for this. Share these feelings of loss by telling those closest to you of your pain. Whatever internal feelings are persisting inside you are unique and normal for you and you alone. Let these feelings naturally unfold, regardless if this period is days, weeks, months or even longer, just don’t cut them short.

4. If you are having trouble finding the light in the midst of your dark nights. That after a considerable time you feel stuck – seek help. This is not uncommon but it’s important to join a grief support group or go to someone who understands the grief process. What you think is abnormal, you may discover is very normal and you’ll learn a lot about yourself.

5. Often the most difficult of challenges for the mourner to accept is that of having to change to accommodate the loss of their loved one. There is an adaptation to the new conditions of life that, along with mourning as the root of the healing, must be accepted as only part of the healing equation.

6. Family and friends will be able to help you face the demanding task of adaptation and the process involved with this head on as a result of going public with your grief. By going public with this grief, the crying and working through the feelings of loss and despair of the deceased loved one can be shared by others.

7. When is the best time for YOU to take care of you? To step away from the process of mourning and focus the attention back onto you. This will enable you to recharge your energy levels, an essential element to taking care of your physical and emotional health. Take time each day to give yourself a treat, or do something for yourself. It’s time to loosen that all consuming grip of grief – just a little bit, each and every day.

Conclusion: The process of adapting to this loss and change, while dealing with grief and mourning tells us there is much to learn about this process. Do the best you can to reinvest in life and move into the new world without the physical presence of your loved one.

Bruce Hultgren was suddenly affected by the tragic loss of his Sister in a plane crash in 1999. Since that date, Bruce has dedicated his time to helping the millions of people around the world who meet these emotions on their journey. Dealing with Death, Funerals, Grief and Dying. Now an accomplished writer on the subject, Bruce has started the FuneralMemorials website to help families celebrate, remember and go through this most trying of times together. He has also discovered a gift to write heartfelt verses that can be found in his PocketAngels range.

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